


Yes, We Have No Bananas

by Sue Corkill (mscorkill)



Series: Fruit Basket Upset [2]
Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-17
Updated: 2012-05-17
Packaged: 2017-11-05 12:56:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/406618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mscorkill/pseuds/Sue%20Corkill
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jack and his team experience a new culinary experience.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Yes, We Have No Bananas

**Author's Note:**

> For Linz. 
> 
> Originally posted July 2004.

YES, WE HAVE NO BANANAS

Jack finally gave up on trying to keep track of everything that was being collected for the White Elephant sale. He'd taken up a post just inside the open garage door; sitting in a lawn chair with his back to the chaos and watching the rain instead. The storm seemed to have settled in for the afternoon and he could almost ignore the low murmur of voices and occasional cries of surprise and then the inevitable questions as Sam tried to explain an object to their alien companions. He had a beer, his hockey stick safely at his side and he felt incredibly relaxed-thanks to Sam-so he decided he could afford to be indulgent. 

Teal'c and Jonas had discreetly ignored his return with Sam from the bathroom...and their activities there. Jack had known he could count on Teal'c for discretion and was pleased that Jonas had followed the Jaffa's lead. Good team and good friends, even if they were currently driving him crazy with their enthusiasm for scavenging through his belongings. Jack slouched a little lower in his chair, enjoying the fresh smell and the hypnotic sound of the rain as it fell. Pulling his fishing hat lower on his head, he closed his eyes and he dozed off.

Soft lips brushed against his. "Jack?"

He reached up with unerring accuracy and cupped the back of her head, holding her longer and deepening the kiss. Her lips softened briefly and he swept his tongue into her mouth for the merest moment before she pulled away. He opened his eyes and found her smiling down at him, her hands resting on the arms of his lawn chair. It was still raining, though it was almost dark outside now, the streetlights glowing in the rain-spattered night. 

"Teal'c has the truck loaded, why don't you go with him to the drop-off spot?"

"What are you going to do?" She had that look in her eye that told him she was up to something.

Sam straightened, standing over him and Jack saw she had her jean jacket on. "Jonas and I are going to go get dinner."

"Pizza?" he asked hopefully, momentarily distracted by the thought of food. 

She chuckled and shook her head. "Something better."

"Chinese?" he asked, naming their other favorite take-out food.

"Nope," she grinned. 

Before he could come up with another possibility, Jonas suddenly careened to a stop at her side. "Ready to go?"

He had that shit-ass grin on his face again and Jack got that feeling in his gut that he usually only got when they had a dozen armed Jaffa on their sixes. 

"I can't wait to try fondue."

Jack sat up a little straighter, his hands on the arms of the chair. "What?" He looked at Sam first, who merely smiled blandly at him and shrugged.

"Fondue," Jonas said, his voice literally vibrating with excitement. "We found this box that had this unusual looking pot and these really long forks. Sam said it was for fondue."

The sinking feeling in Jack's stomach intensified. Good grief, another little present left by his ex-wife, no doubt. He had vague memories of opening wedding gifts and wondering why Sara had been so excited by the thought of dipping bread into melted cheese. Thank god he'd never seen her use it, at least she hadn't when he had been home. Jack looked skeptically from the amused face of his lover to the earnestly eager face of Jonas and then back to Sam. "Fondue?" 

"It'll be fun, Jack." 

He snorted. "Dipping bread into melted cheese is fun?"

"Oh, there are all kinds of things besides bread that you can dip, Jack." 

Jack's eyes narrowed; her voice was suddenly all soft and sultry-and her eyes were promising things he normally didn't associate with bread and cheese.

"Yeah, the recipe book says you can actually cook meat in the fondue pot and then dip it in sauce." Fortunately Jonas seemed oblivious to the undercurrents swirling between Jack and Sam as he rattled on about cooking meat in a fondue. "You just have to get the oil to the right temperature, and of course, have the meat cut into small pieces-chicken, beef, shrimp, whatever."

Sam continued when Jonas paused for breath, adding her own litany. "Strawberries, pineapple, kiwi fruit-"

"Bananas!" Jonas added enthusiastically.

"In cheese?" Jack raised an eyebrow.

"No," Sam drawled, the tip of her tongue just snaking out to lick her lips, "chocolate." 

The short hairs on the back of his neck stood up at attention when she all but purred those two words. The image of Sam eating a strawberry dripping with chocolate filled his brain, the sweet dark chocolate dripping from her lips, down her chin, just waiting for him to lick it off.... 

Before he could organize a coherent reply, Teal'c's booming voice broke in from behind him. "O'Neill! Are you ready?"

Seeing his avenue of escape from Sam and his developing fondue fantasy, Jack launched himself out of the chair, causing Sam and Jonas to quickly step back out of his way. "Be right with you, T." Ignoring Sam's snigger, he pulled his fishing hat more firmly onto his head. "Just let me get my jacket."

"Don't take too long," Sam called as she and Jonas stepped out into the rain. 

Jack stopped and called after her as they hurried down the drive. "Yeah, wouldn't want to miss any of that fondue!"

Her laugh drifted back to him, mixed in with the sounds of the rain. She was so going to pay for this. Fondue was no meal for a man after a day of hard work cleaning out the garage.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was almost 1900 by the time Jack and Teal'c returned from dropping off the boxes at the community center where the sale was going to be held. Even though it was Saturday, the rain had snarled the traffic and thanks to an earlier accident, the trip across town had taken twice as long as normal. Sam was either going to be pissed or annoyed, probably both-or maybe Jack thought optimistically, she and Jonas would have given up on this fondue idea all together. He wasn't sure why he was so opposed to the idea of fondue; it just seemed like such an inefficient way of eating. 

The rain had slowed to a light drizzle by the time they got home. Pulling into the driveway behind Sam's car, Jack shut off the ignition. The garage door was down, he could see smoke coming out of the chimney, the soft glow of light from the windows giving the house a warm and inviting look. Too bad it was all an illusion, he thought sourly. "Well, let's get this over with," he muttered.

"You do not appear pleased with the prospect of fondue, O'Neill."

Jack paused, his hand on the door handle and looked over at Teal'c. "Damn sissy way to eat, Teal'c."

Teal'c raised an eyebrow. "Indeed? It seems a most ingenious way of eating."

Jack rolled his eyes, "Yeah, right. Skewering little bits of food on flimsy forks and then dipping them in a pot of stuff. Real ingenious. Ingenious would be having the food already on your plate and pouring the stuff over it."

"Major Carter says this tradition started in Switzerland. You do not wish to learn of other cultures?"

"Swiss bank accounts and Swiss watches, maybe Teal'c. But Swiss fondue?" He snorted. "I could have gone my whole life without learning about that particular aspect of Swiss culture." With that, he opened the door and jogged up the drive to the front door. Opening the door, he slipped inside and quickly took off his jacket and shoes, making room for Teal'c to do the same.

It was warm and inviting inside. Jack peeked into the living room, a fire was burning merrily, but the room was empty. Teal'c had already disappeared in the direction of the kitchen and Jack followed after him, the sounds of talking and laughter only serving to annoy him even more. 

"Here Sam, try this."

Jack paused in the entry to the dining room, taking in the tableau in front of him. Teal'c already had a fondue fork in hand and was holding it-and whatever he'd skewered-in the bright orange pot. Jonas was sitting at the table and holding out his fork to Sam; some kind of some 'thing', dripping with some kind of red sauce, was on the end of the fork. 

Sam leaned forward from where she sat at the end of the table and opened her mouth, her teeth delicately closing on the dripping morsel. Jonas pulled the fork away and her mouth closed, a tiny bit of sauce dribbling down her bottom lip. "Mmm..." she almost moaned, her eyes closing and a look of pure pleasure filling her face. 

"Well?" Jonas demanded and reached out with a napkin, blotting the sauce from her chin. Jack felt his hands clench into fists at the intimate gesture and he took a deep breath, reminding himself that she'd been gasping his name, her arms and legs locked tightly around him, when he'd made love to her mere hours ago.

Sam opened her eyes, looked right at him and winked. "Perfect," she murmured between chews, delicately licking her lips after she swallowed. 

Damn her. Jack felt a surge of lust go straight to his groin. 

He watched mesmerized then, when she picked up one of the long forks, spearing a piece of raw meat and dipping it into the pot. It sizzled for brief moments before she lifted it out and dipped it into the same red sauce. Her eyes were bright with mischief and her lips curved into a lazy smile when she held the fork out toward him. "Hungry, Jack?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was almost 2200 before Teal'c and Jonas left. It had been the longest-and yet perversely the shortest-meal Jack had ever had to endure. He'd been in a low state of arousal for the entire meal. And he knew Sam had done it deliberately. Oh, it was nothing too obvious, and certainly nothing to arouse the suspicions of Teal'c and Jonas, though Jack would swear he'd seen them exchange a knowing look every time she had 'fed' him from her fork. Which she had done-a lot. Of course-and much to his annoyance-she'd done the same on occasion with Teal'c and Jonas. 

By the time they'd finally gotten to dessert, Jack didn't know whether to kiss or spank her for her obvious delight in torturing him. She'd concentrated on the strawberries, leaving the pineapple and bananas for Teal'c and Jonas. They'd abandoned the forks by then and were using their fingers to dip the fruit into the melted chocolate. The first time she'd fed him a strawberry, letting him take a bite and then eating the rest herself, he had been lost it. When he had tried to retaliate, dipping a strawberry into the chocolate and feeding it to her, she'd grabbed his hand, taking the whole berry between those luscious red lips and then licking off the little bit of chocolate clinging to his fingers. He immediately felt more blood surge to his groin and needless to say, he hadn't done that again. 

Thank god she and Jonas had sliced the bananas, because he knew if she had taken a whole banana, dipped it into chocolate and started sucking on it, he would have taken her right there and then-in front of Teal'c and Jonas and anybody else who happened to stop by. As it was, his fantasy was almost more than he could deal with and he forced that particular image deep into the recesses of his brain. 

The whole evening took on a surreal quality after that and he spent the rest of the meal in a haze of arousal. He wasn't sure how he did it, but he managed to be a good host and carry on an appropriate conversation with his guests. And when their meal was finally finished, he somehow succeeded in seeing Teal'c and Jonas to the door, glad for not the first time that evening that he was wearing his usual loose fitting khakis. Sam had said her good-byes in the dining room and when Jack returned from letting the boys out, she was busy clearing the table. He lounged in the entryway, watching as she blew out the Sterno and began stacking the plates they'd used, before she carried them into the kitchen. 

"Happy?" he asked, when she returned, his voice silky and his eyes cool as he studied her.

"What?" She looked at him, the fondue pot in her hand, her blue eyes sparkling in innocent confusion.

Jack walked up behind her, wrapping one arm around her waist and taking the pot out of her hand and setting it back on the table. He nipped light at her nape and his arm tightened around her when she shivered. "I asked if you were happy," he murmured in her ear. 

"With what?" And then she gasped softly when his hands grasped her hips and he pulled her back, grinding his erection against her ass.

"It's been like that ever since dinner started," he growled.

"Fondue gives you a hard-on, Jack?"

"Tease," he growled, nipping her ear lobe, his right hand sliding between her legs and cupping her, pressing her tight between his aroused body and his hand. He rubbed her through her jeans and she sagged a little against him, one hand gripping his wrist while he stroked her and she let her head drop back onto his shoulder. He took advantage of her position to begin kissing her neck, he knew she wouldn't be happy about it, but he sucked hard enough to mark her. 

"Jack," she protested feebly, her nails digging into his wrist.

"That was for the strawberries," he muttered. He nuzzled a little further down her neck, to her collarbone, tugging the neck of her sweater out of the way and he sucked at her soft skin, marking her again. "And that was for the bananas."

She moaned softly, "I didn't eat any bananas!"

"Thank god for that," he murmured roughly, finally turning her in his arms and claiming her mouth in a hungry kiss. His mouth demanded and she surrendered, his tongue sweeping deep, claiming his right to her sweet secrets. And sweet they were, he could still catch the lingering taste of chocolate and the fresh strawberries, mixed with a flavor that was unmistakably Sam. Eager to touch more of her, he tugged at her sweater, pulling free from her seeking lips long enough to yank it over her head. Her bra followed next, their hands fumbling together to release the catch and then she was tearing at his clothing, his shirt and T-shirt thrown carelessly on the floor. 

She growled his name, her blue eyes dark with desire and a low groan rumbled up from his chest as he pulled her back into his arms. Their mouths melded in another incendiary kiss, teeth nipping, tongues stroking in wild attempts to devour the other. He ran his hands up and down the smooth skin of her back, twisting and moving her against him, rubbing her soft breasts with their tight peaks against his chest. The pressure in his groin increased, his erection full and pressing almost painfully now against the confines of his clothing. God, he needed to be inside her-now.

He tried to be gentle, but he knew his hands were hard when he gripped her waist and sat her on the dining room table. Pushing her knees apart, he crowded against her and she wrapped her legs around him. It was difficult to concentrate on getting his fingers to work the fastenings on her jeans when she once more had her mouth glued to his, her teeth nipping at his lower lip and her tongue caressing his. And when she grabbed his ass, pulling him tight against her and rotating her pelvis against him, he couldn't think at all. 

Grabbing her wrists, he placed her hands on the table, running his hands lightly up her arms and then gently pushing against her shoulders. She whimpered in protest, but finally gave in, letting him push her down onto the table. Jack took a deep breath to calm himself; Sam lay panting on the table, her chest rising and falling rapidly, her hands resting by her head. He'd somehow managed to get the button of jeans undone and the zip was halfway down, her white panties just visible. She looked incredibly desirable and decadent, just waiting for him.

And then she smiled, her eyes languorous and heavy with desire. She stretched slightly and arched her back, tightening her legs around him and reaching for him with one slim hand. "Jack...." She thought she had the upper hand, but she was so wrong. Jack smiled down at her and took her hand, kissing her fingers briefly before once more placing it down at her side.

Drawing on his reserves of control, Jack lightly caressed her breasts, trailing his fingers down her soft belly. When he reached her jeans, he casually finished unzipping them, his fingers dipping briefly beneath her panties, finding her hot and oh so wet. Sam moaned raggedly, her hips jerking toward him. "Easy," he breathed, tugging at her jeans and panties. She lifted her hips enough for him to tug them over her butt. And then with a flexibility that still never failed to amaze him whenever he witnessed it, she lifted one leg and then the other, allowing him to pull her jeans and panties off, leaving her naked before him. Jack quickly shucked off his khakis and boxers, Sam barely giving him room to move before she was tightening her strong thighs around him, urging him closer. But he was far from being finished with her.

She moaned his name when he leaned forward, her eyes gleaming with desire, but he didn't touch her, instead he dipped his finger into the chocolate fondue pot just behind her on the table. The chocolate was still warm. "Mmm...good," he murmured, licking the chocolate off his finger. He glanced at her, her dazed blue eyes were glued on his mouth, her mouth open slightly. He dipped his finger into the chocolate again and brought it to her mouth, holding it just over her lips. "Hungry, Sam?"

Her eyes flared with desire and her tongue was rough against his finger as she licked the chocolate off. Jack shuddered, taking a deep breath and fighting for control. Scooping more of the chocolate out of the bowl, he let it dribble over her lips and then brought his mouth to hers. God, it was incredible, kissing her and tasting the sweet chocolate. Keeping his lips fastened to hers, he reached out and found the bowl, getting more chocolate on his fingers. Pulling his lips away from hers, he lightly traced a trail of chocolate down her neck, to the hollow of her throat, letting the chocolate drip off his fingers and pool there.

Sam shivered and let out a low, throaty chuckle. "Didn't get enough dessert, Jack?"

He didn't answer right away, merely licked his way down her throat and lapped up the little puddle of chocolate there. Kissing his way back up to her lips, he licked them lazily, tracing them with his tongue. "Mmm...I think I like my Sam's dipped in chocolate." Reaching out, he got more chocolate on his finger and traced her lips with the creamy chocolate. "Beats bananas all to hell," he murmured, sliding his lips over hers. She opened her mouth immediately, an invitation he wouldn't resist, and they both shared in the sweet taste.

They kissed until she was shifting restlessly beneath him, and he moaned into her mouth when she once more tightened her legs around him, rotating her pelvis against his. "God, Sam," he groaned, his hips jerking against hers, instinctively seeking her tight heat.

"I'm still hungry, Jack," she whimpered.

Pulling out of her arms, he grabbed her waist, positioning her hips at the edge of the table. He then lifted her legs from around his hips and keeping his eyes fixed on her face, he gently coaxed her into flexing them deeply, draping them over his arms. "Okay?" he rumbled. 

She smiled up at him, wriggled her butt into what Jack could only assume was a more comfortable position on the hard table and then gripped the edge of the table with her hands. "Perfect," she purred.

"Good," he growled, steadying her legs with one arm while he guided his rigid length through her slick folds with the other, broaching her tender opening. Gripping her hips then, he thrust deep, sheathing himself completely in her snug channel. Adjusting his stance, he pulled her tighter against him and started thrusting heavily. He rode her hard, her whole body shaking beneath the force of his thrusts. But thank god, she wasn't a passive partner, meeting each thrust with one of her own and using her internal muscles to increase their combined pleasure.

Jack knew he wouldn't last long, now that he was finally inside her. The combination of their earlier love play and his state of almost continuous arousal since the moment she'd fed him his first piece of fondue had seen to that. But he wanted Sam with him. Sliding his hands under her ass, he tilted her pelvis, changing the angle of his penetration just enough.... 

She gasped his name and he knew he was doing something right. And moments later when she arched her hips almost frantically against him and he felt the first tremors of her orgasm, he thrust deep, grinding his pelvis against hers. He gritted his teeth against the release that was demanding to be set free, determined to watch it and feel it happen for her first. Her eyes were closed, her whole body practically arched off the table, supported only by her shoulders. A low groan vibrated through her and she shuddered endlessly against him, the insistent contractions of her body around him finally luring him to join her in ecstasy. 

Once more gripping her hips with hard hands, he resumed thrusting, bending her knees back even further and taking her as deeply as possible. Jack could feel it rising in him, fierce and primal and he didn't even try to slow it down now, driving into his lover until his orgasm slammed through him with the force of a tidal wave. He shuddered against her for endless moments, and somehow managing to extract his arms from under her legs, he finally collapsed on her body. Her breasts were a soft pillow for his head and he gasped for breath, sporadic tremors still racing through him as he slowly recovered from his incredible orgasm.

Sam's voice, tender and amused, sounded over his head. "We'll have to have fondue more often, Jack, if this what it does for you."

He groaned, and planting his hands on either side of her, succeeded in pushing himself back to a standing position. She whimpered a protest when he carefully disengaged them, but then he grabbed her hands and pulled her up so she was sitting on the edge of the table. He looped his arms around her neck and studied her, her beautiful blue eyes were full of drowsy satisfaction and she had the general glow of a woman who has been well loved-which pleased him to no end.

"Fondue, strawberries, bananas, hell-even oatmeal makes me hard for you."

"Oatmeal?" She grinned and quirked an eyebrow at him.

"Don't even ask."

THE END


End file.
